From the Beatles most psychadelic era, the lyrics of I Am The Walrus has confused students, fans, censors and Mods for over three hundred years. For your convenience, I will show you what Lennon and McArtney were on about as they tripped off their tits on acid.

I Am The Walrus by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.
The first line of this song refers to the usual feeling of 'oneness' that is experienced when on powerful drugs. The second two lines is what happens when you forget what you were talking about.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus,
Coo coo, kachoo.
If you ask the right people, what happened in the first line of this verse actually happened. They had ordered a pizza when they got the munchies and were waiting for it with some impatience. On arrival, instead of tipping the delivery boy, they pelted him with eggs.

Mister City P'liceman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying.
I'm cry, I'm crying, I'm cry, I'm crying.

After the incident with the pizza boy and the eggs, Ringo became massivly paranoid that the police were going to take him away. This was his contribution to the song.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus,
Coo coo, kachoo.
I spoke to Lennon about this in July 1999 and he told me this is what Yoko used to feed him, hence his faked death.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan from
Standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo.
Disappointingly, this lyric needs very little explaination and is not exciting in the slightest. It was written by McCartney.

Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, he he he, ha ha ha)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide.
I'm crying.
Ringo still having problems with reality. He also tried expressing himself in the film 'The Magic Christian' that also failed to have anything solid to say about anything.

Semolina Pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo
The only really good lyric in this song, written by George Harrison. Semolina Pilchard represents the late 60s - Semolina is a desert made from Duram Wheat and milk while a Pilchard is a small fish. The Eiffel Tower is a landmark in Paris, France.
Elemantary Penguin is a juxtoposition of two seemingly unrelated words, which is cleverly positioned next to 'Hare Krishna' that at the time was the most powerful nuclear weapon in the Soviet Union's armoury.
Edgar Allan Poe was kicked to death. He suggests we should have witnessed this as George Harrison was actually quite a violent person encouraged by his sinful smoking habit.

(Juba juba juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba juba. Juba juba.....
(speaking)
The last line was written after Ringo collapsed and someone needed to keep time.